The Daily Skunk

New Year’s Day - It’s just an excuse to not go to work with a hangover.

Martin Luther King Day - He’s been dead for years, and people are still pissed off about it.

Groundhog Day - Hell, someone shot one of those poor little furballs a few years ago, obviously, someone doesn’t like it.

Valentine’s Day - Single people get jealous and couples have to buy each other shit.

President’s Day - Does that mean we have to honor all presidents, or just Washington and Lincoln… frankly, I can’t say much of anything good about the current excuse for a president.

St. Patrick’s Day - An Irish excuse to get drunk.

April Fool’s Day - An excuse to piss people off and laugh about it because it’s just “April Fools”.

Easter- Who shall triumph? A man on a cross or the Cadbury Bunny?

Cinco de Mayo - A Mexican excuse to get drunk.

Mother’s Day - Many of the early psychoanalysts would look at the relationship one had with his/her mother as a possible explanation of their problems.

Memorial Day - Although usually an excuse for watching WWII movies, it was originally intended to remember the death resulting from Americans killing Americans in the Civil War.

Father’s Day - Tribute to men… if you cut the women’s day, you’d better severe this one too… besides, men have been the source of many of this countries problems since its conception.

Independence Day - How many other countries in the world are happy the United States won the Revolutionary War?

Labor Day - Would not work be better celebrated by working instead of taking the day off?

Columbus Day - Don’t get me started… the man inadvertently attempted to commit genocide.

Halloween - Because no one can make his or herself a bigger freak on this day than I am every day of the year and especially on this day.

All Saints’ Day - What constitutes a Saint?

Veteran’s Day - Another day to celebrate man killing their fellow man in war.

Thanksgiving - Simple… cut this and there’s no more Black Friday…

Christmas - Since no one can agree on the “true nature” of Christmas… fuck it.

New Year’s Eve - The year’s over, let’s get shitfaced.

Ok, I know I didn’t cover every last one, but I don’t have time. The big one to pay attention to in this list is Christmas. People don’t seem to agree on reason’s to celebrate holidays… Christmas and many others. And if people can’t agree on why they should have a day to relax and spend a day however they choose, why do we even bother? Why don’t we just take random days off instead? People or groups can decide whatever days they want off, and at least, they might get to spend that time together. Ok, forget this, its all a stupid idea. Here’s what I really want to say.

Quit complaining about how and why people celebrate holidays. It’s futile and a waste of time. For one, yes, people have the freedom of speech, so they are entitled to use it. However what gives anyone the AUTHORITY to dictate how and why and in what manner and for what reason and purpose or if people shall celebrate holidays? Short version, if someone believes that he or she knows the truth and the way and reason to celebrate any holiday, they’re full of crap and wasting people’s time trying to convince other people of his or her position. So, stop bitching, and whining, and complaining when the next person doesn’t celebrate like you, or even if the holiday is worth celebrating. The day is yours, do what you will, if necessary don’t get caught, but take a holiday and make it whatever you like, and let everyone else do the same.